Gravity

I apologize before hand for how annoying, girly, and ridiculous this post is. I just need to vent.

It's hard being so close to something you know you can never have. I want you to picture for me your favorite candy bar. It is within reach. You can hold it, smell it, and see it; yet you are told that you can never taste it. It will never be yours. It just sits in front of you, haunting your every thought. Yea well now you know how I feel with the men in my life. I am very proud of the fact that I have some super amazing men in my life, but it hurts. A lot. It is so hard to be so close to someone knowing that they will never be yours. You know there every move. You can communicate with them without any words. You know them better than anyone has ever known them. They trust you and vice versa. Yet you watch them walk away day after day knowing that they will one day meet their other half, get married, make gorgeous babies, and will forever be gone from your grasp. I have to face this with all of my guy friends. I have watched it time after time. I want them all to be happy, but after a while they move on with their new ladies while taking a part of my heart with them. One of these days, when God puts my perfect man in front of me, I will have nothing to offer, but a broken puzzle piece that I'm supposed to call a heart.

It's hard holding their hand, getting cozy while watching movies, or just getting those texts to greet you with a good morning. A girl can only give so much. And quite frankly I have nothing more to give. I ache with regret. I regret letting myself get so close. I regret putting myself out there and not being a crazy girl who needs a boyfriend 24/7. I sit here and listen to these sappy love songs and I just hope that the girls in these songs got the guy because if she didn't...she must be so broken.

Of course I also have to see a lesson out of this too. I think about how I am so close to this certain someone and yet cannot have them. Always knowing that they will probably never be mine. This is how God feels with some of us sometimes. He is so close to us and almost has us. With some of us, He can talk to us, see us, try and speak to us, but in the end we are choosing to not be His. We are choosing not to commit to Him for some reason. Any guy that I ever liked told me things like, they didn't date bigger girls, we were too good of friends, it just wasn't the right time. All this to get out of dating me. So what is our excuse? Why are we putting God in the friend zone, if you will? For me, I have to be honest. I have extreme trust issues. I am so afraid that He is going to abandon me like some of the other people from my past. My prayer tonight is that I will realize that He isn't going to leave me and I can have Him; all of Him. It is because of this realization that I don't have a relationship because He is the one man who should have a say in my life. To the men reading this; stay classy. I'm sure you are amazing and I pray that you stay that way always.
Thanks for letting me vent!
-J

Oh the places you'll go...

So since my parents have sold our house the packing has been their biggest task. My mom has been going through a lot of my stuff from back in the day. She has sent me a couple of writings from my 5th grade year in school. That was my biggest year of writing. That was the year I discovered my love for writing. Specifically creative writing. I read the poems she sent me and thought they were stupid at first. I had my friends read them and got some chuckles, but I couldn't help but read over them over and over again. Not to brag, but I was a creative child. It got me thinking about an interesting topic. I wondered what my kids would be like. A lot of my friends from high school and college are getting married and having kids and it gets me thinking. I look at my parents and see what I got from them. I got my mothering nature and love of helping others from my mother. I got my stubbornness and love for manly things from my dad. My mom taught me to cook and my dad taught me how to deal with issues in my car. I am a pretty good combination of both except for the fact that I am a replica of my mother in facial features. I have my dad to thank for my dark skin. There are certain things that I want to pas on to my kids and certain things I don't. I don't want my kids to get my stubbornness. I hope my kids get their height from their father...and I just hope I marry a tall guy in general! I hope they don't get my immune system or metabolism issues. One of the things I do pray that they get from me is their imagination and creativity. I used to write for fun just whatever I wanted and school gave me a hatred for writing due to essay after essay of topics I didn't choose. I want them to be spontaneous and I want them to look back on their life and feel like they made the most of it. I want them to paint with all the colors of the wind because Pocahontas is a princess to Native Americans everywhere! I want them to imagine life through the lives of others. I want them to dream and laugh. Trust me, I'm not one of those crazy women who is going around campus looking for the perfect male specimen to hook up with and start popping out little ones anytime soon. I am not addicted to babies. I just think about how much I want for my future offspring. I am creating this world that they will be coming into and I want it to be filled with only the best. Remember, it is never too late to live your childhood. Never lose your imagination and creation is never out of reach.

You Know What Happens When You Assume...

Sitting at my desk and I look up to read one of my Christian pick up line pictures. It has a very handsome gentleman on it and reads; "hey girl, you make me feel like Samson with hi hair cut off: weak in he knees." I can't help but laugh. Naturally as a girl I think about the opposite sex from time to time. As a social work major we talk about social behavior in most of my classes. Today my professor said something that rang in my ear. He talked about how as humans we have the need for some sort of intimacy. Now hold your horses, I know what you are probably thinking. Don't worry, I am not talking about the s-e-x lecture. His statement did get me thinking though. Especially more on the female end as well. So many girls give themselves over to the "dark side", if you will, because they have the need for love and attention. For some girls it is just the need to be close to someone emotionally, others just need to cuddle next to someone during a movie, the rest go to the more drastic end of that spectrum. I was thinking about it from my stand point though. I am one of those girls who is kind of needy. I am not afraid to admit it. Coming from the fact that I've never had a boyfriend, I don't have a stable relationship where I can get that sort of attention. Luckily, I have some of the best guy friends in the world. I am emotionally close to one of them and can depend on him to open up to me which meets the need of emotional intimacy. Another one of my guy friends doesn't mind the fact that I like to lean on him during a movie. All my needs are meant and I don't have to give in to the temptations of our world today. There is a bit of the problem with the last point though. Here at my school if you are seen close to the opposite sex than boom! you are automatically dating. I still haven't figured out the fact that it doesn't have to be this way. Just because I have close guy friends does not mean that I have feelings for them or plan on dating them. Tomorrow night I am going to a dance with one of my guy friends. I asked him to be my date. This does not mean that I am in love with him and I am already picking out my wedding dress. Just two people going to have a crazy fun night. It is a tad frustrating that people just assume that I am dating someone because I am close to them either physically or emotionally. As many guy fiends as I have if people assumed that I had a thing with all of them then I am pretty sure I would be considered some very colorful names. Now, confession, I assume the wrong things too sometimes. By no means am I perfect. Just last night I assumed that one of my new freshman guy friends was one of those guys that can't get passed a girls looks when it comes to dating. I was very wrong. Moral of this venting session: to the ladies- girls, please don't feel like you have to give up your body just to be close to a guy. If that is the only connection you can make with him, then maybe you should be looking in another direction. To my gentleman- it is okay to be close to the girls in your life. Just make sure you both know where the other stands so that you aren't leading each other on if other feelings were to be developed, but please, be close to them. Show them how they should be treated. To everyone- don't assume the worst because you know what happens when you assume...

-j

Camp Counselor Probz

My life consists of Chaco tan lines, wearing shorts over bathing suits, ponytails with bandannas, and screaming children. Do I care that my life is hectic? No. Why? Because I love my job. You see this summer I wanted a fun job. I wanted to job I wouldn't be sitting behind a desk all day killing myself. But I never foresaw the job as a camp counselor. I wake up at six in the morning and don't go to bed until around ten. I don't get much sleep and the pay isn't the greatest but one thing makes it worth it. My kids are my life. I was so unsure about a major in a field that was going to be working with a lot of kids, but now I am certain that kids are going to be my life. I've learned that it takes a brave soul to be the small screaming boxes of enthusiasm all day long. I know that it's hard explaining to a child why he's not playing fairly. I've realized what it's like to wipe away tears of joy and tears of sadness. I've had to play the bad cop in the good cop. I don't wear make up and my hair is always in the same ponytail. I swept through shirts like army uniforms in the desert. I've never been so uncomfortable my whole entire life. Seeing a child smile going down the water slide makes it all worth it. My parents really want me to get a better job that pays much more so that I can afford to live on my own, but here's the thing for me it doesn't matter about money anymore it matters whether a child is learning that they were saying by the grace of God. I've considered looking at other jobs next year, but I really don't think I could pass up another year at Spring Hill. I made so many amazing friends this summer. And luckily I get three more weeks with them. I can't imagine my life without them. I love my bosses. I hear so many people complaining about how awful their bosses are. Mine are crazy and fine I love getting involved with me, the other counselors, and the kids. I might be 20 years old but on Monday through Friday I am whenever the kids need me to be. On Wednesdays I'm a fairy princess, on Fridays I'm their best friend. On Monday I'm a new adventure for them. The little ones pull my hair, punch me, fight against me, but I love them more than anything in this world. Have I mentioned lately that I love my job? I've had to experience tan lines I never wanted, hair falling out left and right, acne, sweat in places I didn't know existed, but a love for God that I will never forget.

Once You Go Big, You Never Go Twig

Here's the thing. The longer I put off working out, the later I have to stay up, which means less sleep for me. The sad fact of the matter is that I know this yet I am sitting on Pinterest like it is my freaking job. Okay, another thing; I worked out already today. I drove into town just so I could walk the grand path of Franklin. I took my mace and everything! I'm pretty sure I even pulled something in my hip. Glory I sound old. Pulled something in my hip?!? Seriously!?! This is why I don't work out. I usually end up hurting myself while I workout so that I can't workout anymore. It is a vicious cycle. Anywho, so back to the whole me not working out thing. I have two different workouts I'm supposed to do tonight and then I can go to bed. I am fifty squats and three hundred abs away from a serious relationship with my pillow. Also, I am drinking this fat eliminator thingy. It's water, lemons, limes, cucumbers, and mint leaves. I feel like I'm slowly swallowing nature. Maybe I'll be a nice spry tree in the morning! Ya know, skinny people always say hat working out is so much fun and so easy. Um, yea it is when you have literally nothing weighing you down. I made a punny. Weighing you down...and it's weight. Get it? So, even though I have no motivation what so ever, I should probably get my curvy butt up and start working on my Victoria Secret 6-pack. To all you people out there who would love to workout, but have no motivation, look at it this way; time is going to pass no matter how you spend it so spend it fitting into that little black dress. Much love!

-j

Attention To Details

So...this week I have been home sick with pink eye. Freaking pink eye. Seriously? I thought pink eye was like something you got in middle school and got made fun of for and then it was over. Well, I guess karma paid me back for thinking that. Oh well. Being home with nothing to do has given me a lot free time and time to think. I've been making crafts for my dorm room. I don't ever craft. I'm not crafty. A craft, to me, used to be bead necklaces or painting my name on a piece of wood. Now a days I'm making roses out of fabric. I think I've officially lost it. Also, in my free time I have been listening to more music. I decided to pay a visit to my old friend Ke$ha and see what her new album had to offer. Has anyone noticed that 3 of her top new songs are Come On, Die Young, Crazy Kids. Does that freak anyone else out? Come on die young crazy kids. I feel as if that is not the right message to be sending out into the world. Am I the only one who notices things like this? There is definitely something wrong with that! I'm too young to die. I don't wanna die young, especially just because Ke$sha is telling me too. Anywho, I'm making today's post short and sweet. I need to go be more crafty or something. I hope you all are having a fantastic week. It is clear that I really need to get back to work and get back to spreading my weirdness to small children instead of you people on the Internet. Have a wacky Wednesday!

-j

Well I'm Back!

Sorry it has been so long. Kids can kinda keep a person busy. So let me catch you up on my life. I am now 20...it still feels like 19 though. I have even caught myself telling people I'm 19. It happens, oh well. I come home occasionally. I work all week long with Saturday off. I love my job even though some of these kids are the best birth control I have ever been around. These kids are great though. I've never loved my job so much. It blows me away the imagination they have and their curiosity is adorable. When you are a kid you don't realize what you are thinking or saying. Their emotions are heightened. They bump their knee and it is automatic tears. They see a ball and light up. Why does that have to end at a certain age. A lot of my kids think I am older than I actually am because I act so much like an uptight adult sometimes. I do that for their safety and so they obey the rules, but sometimes I listen to myself telling them what to do and I hate what I hear coming out of my mouth. "Don't do that and Stay over here." These young ones remind me of the freedom of a child, the crazy ideas, and the pure spirit we all once had. As children we lived each day without a care in the world. We had no bills, no stress; our biggest care in the world was what was for lunch and if we would be able to go over to a friends house. Now we think about paychecks and how we will be spending the rest of our lives working. I understand that as an adult we have responsibility and yes we have to care about our lives and balance our check books, but glory can we please just start getting back to the days where life didn't seem so desperate and lame. My challenge to all you aging people out there...take a moment to fly a kite or color. Let the inner child escape.

There Is A Turtle In My Basement

Sorry for the delay my people! I've been off doing the adult thing...working. I work for a daycamp and it is insane. This was my first week and I learned so much. So...I figured I would share all my lessons with you!

1. Don't lose a camper. Especially when it is the only camper in your group who has anxiety.
2. Do not let anyone put random blobs of sunscreen on you.
3. Stuffed animals can fart.
4. Kids love to tell Jesus about their love for hotdogs.
5. Young boys hate me.
6. My fear of snakes isn't as bad as I thought.
7. Don't scream during your first days because by Saturday, you won't have a voice.
8. I have a new appreciation for sleep.
9. No one should ever give small people sugar.
10. Kids get super quiet if you just stare at them.

Those are just a few lessons I learned this week. It was a very intense week. I just kept reminding myself that I must be on God's path if the devil is throwing me struggles. Also, there really is a turtle in my basement. It's name is Saca and she is apart of our nature exhibit at camp. Anywho, I have also met some pretty amazing people as well. People such as:

1. Guys who wear Chewbacca back packs
2. Guys who sing like a mix of Fergie and Jesus
3. Guys obsessed with Instagram and Chipotle
4. Girls who like to lick peoples elbows
5. A girl who can lick her own elbow
6. People who want to start a Tangled fan club
7. Guys that really like my car
8. Girls who are naturally loud like me
9. People who dance to the clean version of the wobble by Family Force 5
10. People who love cheesecake just as much as I do

I don't get paid much, but here is what my thought process is. I am telling kids about Jesus and giving them possibly the best week they will have all summer. Why would I need to get paid? That's just a bonus! It was a rough first week, but it is a learning process. I hope you all are doing well. I will have my computer with me now to keep you guys updated! Also, good news! I had 3 kids start a relationship for the first time this week! Yay!

-j

It Was a Rainy Monday...

20 years ago today it was a dreary Monday. This was the day a legend was born. Literally, I was born. Being born in the rain probably makes me sound like a depressing child...not so much! I am no longer a teenager. I look back on those years and think, 'I really should have invested in a straightener sooner and what the heck was I thinking.' Today has been an interesting day so far. My best friend tackled me at exactly 12:00am. I woke up to find that she had also "decorated" my car. Let's just say it was so flashy that it probably will be out of the public eye for a little while. I didn't get much sleep last night, but I think that was due to the fact that my bed smelled like Sexy Cowboy. I got too distracted. I literally started counting sheep. That myth doesn't work just fyi. I received a card from my dad today with a re gifted gift card in it, but hey; it's steak-n-shake and I am not complaining! Katie told me to be ready at 4 and so I actually decided to look decent for the shenanigans she had planned for me. I shaved my legs. Ladies and gentleman, you have to understand that I hate, with a fiery passion, shaving my legs. I do it because I am a lady, but I hate it. It just really upsets me that I work so hard making them look nice yet I get razor burn and butcher half my leg off. Oh well! Let the randomness continue! My "husband" text me this morning a very sweet message about how I give him wisdom and what not. He was being all hallmark and all I could think of was 'for two months I get to be a cougar! mwhahahahahaha' Yea, there is probably something clinically wrong with me. I know. Anywho...we ended up going to the Melting Pot. In jeans. This is one of those places where jeans are looked down upon. This is a very classy place. Luckily, we had a super awesome waitress who played along with us and put up with our rookie ways. Dave & Busters was next on the list. If you have never been there it is basically like a giant arcade for adults. After buckets and buckets of tickets I got a sweatshirt, pub mug, and a shot glass; ya know, for next years birthday! Of course we had to hit the walmart as well. There were some classy people there too. It was grand. And we ended the evening with Fast and Furious 6. Holy guns, and I mean muscle guns, but there were real guns too. It was so good and I highly recommend it. Thanks for all the happy wishes and what not. I hope everyone had a grand day!

My Life is a Bad Horror Film

I figured I would start today off with a  funny! Being a born and raised, proud to declare Hoosier, I find things like this a wee bit on the hilarious side. So not much happened today because I was sick. I took Benedryl and I don't really remember the last 16 hours. Therefore, I will have to share some random story from last night. Side note, does anyone else feel super fancy when they use the word 'therefore'? When I say it I feel as if I should be stroking my imaginary mustache and wearing a monocle. Okay, back to story telling! The only problem I have with this whole downstairs apartment thing is that there are spiders. I am not a fan of spiders. The only spider I am okay with is the daddy long leg. Now that is a spider that does not sound threatening! I'm talking about the big black, hairy spiders that look like they could eat your family if they really wanted to. I have seen a few and so I complained to the land lords of this place. My dad came downstairs and sprayed spider-away! I don't actually know the name of it, but I'm hoping that was its purpose. All was well and good until about 5mins after he sprayed. That's when all the spiders realized their corners had been drenched and so they decided to disperse. Here I am just minding my own business when the Adams family of spiders starts making their way to share my bed. Luckily for me, I have quite the collection of flip flops. Now I have quite the collection of flip flops decorated with dead spider legs. I don't think any sane person should have to sleep with a flip flop next to their bed, but hey; no one every said I was normal. The worse part is, my meds are making me dream of giant spider invasions! No more meds for me. For now, I can live with the spiders. They aren't my biggest fear. Now when clowns start invading is when we will have a bigger problem on our hands. I will have to invest in bigger flip flops! Have a glorious few hours left in your day and don't forget to go out and dance in the rain!

-j

Wash, Rinse, Repeat

Here in the Roberts household we do not turn on the air-conditioning unless the queen of England is coming over. Last night it was beyond hot in our house! The great thing about living in the basement is because it is underground it is a bit cooler. Well...it wasn't last night. Every square inch of this house was hotter than hot cakes on Sunday morning. The genius I am, I decided I needed to workout. Working out equals really hot and sweaty. Five minutes in I was dripping! Of course this was at midnight as well. I was tired, but I was not about to sleep in a pool of my own hard earned perspiration. I decided to shower. I have never requested a cold shower, ever! Usually when I shower when I open the shower curtain, the mirror fogs up from hot shower steam. This time, I'm pretty sure it started forming icicles. Let me just start off by saying it was late and I was tired. When I started to wash my hair I noticed my soap was not soapy. That, ladies and gents, is because I started off with my conditioner. You know it is going to be a good day when you start the rinse cycle before the washing even had a chance to hit the hair. Nevertheless, I can't wait to see where this day takes me because lord knows a mix up with the hair never gets you anywhere! Have a beautiful Tuesday darlings :)

-j

Cars and Such

Okay, so being a Hoosier usually qualifies you in the highest aspect of driving. Apparently, that does not go for all Indiana residents. Today I was a big girl and ran my own errands. I had lunch with my sister, hit the post office, and did the typical grocery shopping. I was very proud of myself. After lunch with my sister I was walking back to my car AND ALMOST DIED! Last time I checked, pedestrians have the right of way. This lady must have failed drivers education because she wanted to play hip check with her car! I was halfway through the walkway and she approached pretty fast. I slowed down because I wasn't sure if she was going to stop. There was a stop sign so I knew she had to stop. So, knowing that, I continued to walk. Her car went halfway through the stop sign so I stopped about an inch from her car. She finally did stop and I thought she had seen me. Therefore, I started walking again, but before I could take another step, she started yelling at me and gunned it. I'm pretty positive that she told me to watch where I was going. (sassy z snap inserted here) EXCUSE ME! I was not texting, looking down, or eating a taco. For once in my life I was actually paying attention and I am shamed for it. To make it more awkward, she ended up being in CVS the same time as me. I hid for the sake of my own life. Anywho, good news, I didn't die today! And I got all of my errands done. Got a surprise for mom and a friend. The new basement apartment has added new furniture and pictures. My home is starting to actually feel like home. I hope you all had a grand day and didn't die. I would also like to ask everyone to pray for the people out west who were hit by the tornado. Those winds can be pretty nasty. Peace and blessings my fellow dorkies!

-j

Here Comes The Bride...

No, I am not getting married so everyone can just take a deep breath. Tomorrow I am headed to a wedding. One of my friends from school, her dad is getting married and her friends are invited to the reception. I'm excited to see some of my friends from school. I am glad that she isn't getting married. Some of my friends are starting to get married from college. A lot of people I graduated high school with are married or headed that way, but I don't keep up with them anymore so that doesn't really phase me. My college friends getting hitched is what gives me anxiety. I am super happy for all of them, don't get me wrong, but it is taking some adjustment to realize that is the time period in my life that I am at right now. I knew this day would come eventually. When we all grew up and had our own little families to brag about, but holy crudballs that came up fast. I am talking to one of my best friends boyfriends about them possibly getting engaged and the whole thing is just so exciting. Here is what I am currently surrounded with right now though; my best friend from home who is in a super good long lasting relationship, my best friend from college talking engagement plans with her boyfriend, a friend who claims she will never get married, a friend who is entering a super serious relationship, a friend in love with the ex, a friend who just loves the opposite sex, and two other friends talking serious relationships. That comes around back to me. I have been told my whole life that God has someone extra special planned for me. I have heard all the excuses for why I am single; all the guys you talk to are jerks, no guy you've met is good enough for you, he will be here someday, just be patient, if you stop looking he will find you. I know all the lines in the book. I am pretty happy being single for the 20th year now, but I'm not gonna lie. Even me, crazy, strong, and independent me, gets scared sometimes. Have you ever thought that maybe you were put on this Earth just to be on your own? I know people who do it, but my whole life I have been so dependent on others. You can ask any one of my guy friends, I am touchy and a tad nosy but that is my love language. Touch and quality time. Can't help it! So taking those two categories and putting them into a girl who might be a crazy cat lady some day could be dangerous. I try to picture what it would be like. Just having an apartment by myself and living day to day with just me. It honestly makes me a little sad. Even though I am the girl who likes getting dirt under my nails and going camping, I do dream about being that princess in white someday and being able to cook for my family. No worries though, I sometimes look at it this way; God hasn't brought me a guy because He wants me to be a missionary in Jamaica. I am not all about finding a guy. I am really enjoying working on my own life. I am falling in love with God and the plans He has for me. For the girls who are all about finding a man though; there is a reason you are single. You are supposed to be solving your own puzzle before you can go adding more pieces! I have faith that Prince Charming is out there and he is just a little stuck in traffic, and knowing my luck, too stubborn to ask for directions! Well, there is my random rant for tonight!

-j

Technical Difficulties...

Sorry I have been MIA. I am a teenage girl who has a tendency of sleeping more than functioning. I apologize for that! So, I will give you a hint for today's rant....

 

So here are the sad facts. I like me some pizza. Since we are on a strict diet in this household I love when I get real food. Today I got Rally's and Bdubs. Bdubs is short for Buffalo Wild Wings for the wise generation. Anywho, I was such a happy camper. I love salad...don't get me wrong. But I respect a true salad eatin girl. I cannot do it! I love food too much! Glory, give me a cheeseburger and I will probably (jokingly) ask you to marry me. I realize that saying that you are probably picturing this super big girl salivating over a steak, but I like to work out too. I just watch some of these girls eat nothing but salad and water and then they go kill themselves in the gym so they can look good for their man. Here is my thought; if God is okay with me being a partial carnivore, then he will bring me a guy who loves me and my love for a good pork chop now and then. Plus, usually girls who know how to eat usually know how to cook. Not always, but I can make some mean homemade pizza. Today's post is going to be short, but I just wanted to give a shout out to all the healthy girls. Skinny girls, do not be afraid to scarf down that piece of pizza. Wear those chocolate stains at the corner of your mouth with pride! If your man can not appreciate a woman with an appetite than he might be in the wrong relationship. For all the late night snackers, try some fruit or a salad sometime. Me? I will stick to my flax seed, egg protein healthy breakfast shake and Rally's burger for lunch! Now if you excuse me, I'm off to do some ab work! Loves from the weight room!

 

-j

Family Cleaning Day

Okay...so whoever created mind games for the teenage generation should be in jail. Point of the story; guys do not mess with girls. We read into every single word and punctuation mark you use. Girls, the poor fella probably doesn't understand what he is doing wrong so don't freeze him out just because he didn't text you back in .25 seconds. The end.

On to our main topic...
So I did not get the memo that said Saturday is "family cleaning day." Ya know, I wondered why my mother handed me a pamphlet when I came home from college, but I figured a title like "Things That Have Changed In This Household Since You Left" wasn't anything to read about. Boy, was I wrong. First off, the family is on a new diet. We are now a gluten, egg, dairy, soy, peanut, sugar, and something else, free household. There is not a Dorito or Oreo in sight. I've been through a lighter of this before. When I was younger and all the kids at school were opening up their lunch boxes to find snack packs and pop tarts I opened mine to reveal packets of tuna, salmon, and celery. As a thriving middle schooler, it does not exactly scream cool to be spreading tuna on a low fat cracker. So this whole diet thing has been fun, but home girl needs a chicken nugget! And then there's family cleaning. I woke up to the vacuum being run overhead this morning. Apparently while I was asleep the whole house was being cleaned. I was told that my room should be picked up and bed made. So, I picked my room up, but I have yet to make my bed. I never really saw the point in making my bed if we weren't having company over. I'm just going to get back in periodically over the course of the day. I will probably give in and make it though. In all seriousness, I love my family. My mom asks very little of me and I probably give her too much crap for it. I have been mooching off them for quite some time now. To all the mother's out there, thanks for doing what is best for us. Sorry we don't say thank you that often, or we love you. Happy Mother's Day to all the ladies out there! And mother, since I know you will most likely end up reading this, since it is now on your favorite tabs, happy mom's day and I love you!

-j

The Perks of Being a Fisherlady

Okay...so most girls, when they first get a pedicure, they are very delicate with their lives. They take every precaution to keep their toes lookin fly. Well, Sunday I got a pedicure, first thing I did was run into the pond water to catch me some fish. Sadly, I didn't catch any, but I attempted. I like being girly at times, but you give me night crawlers and a hook and all thoughts of being of the female gender go out the window. Tonight, the war began between my mother and I. I have been fishing since I was able to hold my Barbie pole. Ever since I started fishing my mom and I compete to see who can catch the most fish. Tonight...I was defeated. Now picture this; here is this wise woman out in her fold out chair sportin her nightie just throwin out a line. And here I am being ever so patient and coordinating the right spot and everything. This woman beat me by 4! 4! I don't win a lot of things in life, but fishing is my game and when I lose...I am a loser. I caught my first bluegill on default. I threw out a bad worm and he came to get it so I slowly just happened to put my hook right under his lip! Didn't even have to cast out. Mom didn't even want to go fishing, but of course as soon as she does BOOM! a huge bass just lands in her lap (not literally, but almost). It isn't officially fishing season in the Roberts household until someone is peed on by a fish. Unfortunately, the lucky girl this year was me. Seriously, what living creatures first reaction is to pee on someone? It's whatever. I can accept being peed on because he will be in the frying pan tomorrow. Tonight was a success with 2 bass and 4 bluegill. Fishing adventures are usually pretty good in this family. Tomorrow night might be mushroom hunting with dad so we will see what kind of story that brings up. Well, have a nice evening! I'm off to do my nails!

Love Songs

 

Because I'm feeling super lovey dovey for some odd reason tonight...I figured I would share a short film. I adore short films. I think I like them because I might be ADD. I can't focus through a whole movie most of the time. Usually I just end up creating my own ending so short films are good for me. I am kind of like a dog...see a squirrel and I lose all attention. Not actually with squirrels though. I don't like them. It is more with shiny objects or handsome fellas. Anywho, nothing super duper exciting or funny happened today so I had to fall back on adorkable videos. I hope you enjoy and don't forget to love being in love! Just to clarify...I am not in love. I just heard it's nice.

This should be interesting.

Random thoughts of a hyper teenage female...

• why does someone make a twitter for their dog?
• seriously...what is the dog going to tweet; 'just slobbered on a baby #wagtastic
• does prince charming stop and ask for directions or does he just wing it?
• eenie, meenie, minie, moe...let's go this way!
• how tall is Robin Williams?
• he just looks super short to me
• why do clocks have to be so loud?
• nobody wants to hear that while they are trying to sleep
• why are family photos so awkward?
• except my family...we are cute
• fat amy is my hero
• just sayin
• does true loves kiss seriously cure things?
• cause I think I might have a stubbed toe
• why are cell phone lights so bright?
• it makes it so much harder to text in class when you are watching a movie
• do wishes made at 11:11 come true?
• cause I'm still waiting for a Popsicle
• why are the annoying songs so catchy?
• whip my hair and call me maybe
• how come guys can pinterest on a girls computer, but they can't get their own?
• matt and james...seriously
• how did rapunzel keep her hair so nice?
• I'm in the need for a new conditioner
• why can't a girl be country and city?
• I like to drive my top down convertible listening to adam levine while wearing camo
• why do people have to make things awkward?
• it is only awkward if you make it awkward and I don't make it awkward.
• and finally...why on earth do I have to have so many thoughts?

Update Potate

Sorry to all my readers. I haven't been on in a few days because I have been migrating north for the winter. I'm like all those old people who come back to the north because it is safe to be outside again. School is over and I am back in the tiny town of Nineveh. Tiny as in when you are at the four way you look left, right, in front, and behind, and that equals Nineveh. Anywho, after 20 years I got to have my own "apartment." My siblings both got to move to the basement in their early teens, but my mother said something about it being "too morbid" for me to move down there. So what I heard was it is okay for my brother and sister to be kept away from the sunlight, just not me. I basically thought my siblings were Gremlins growing up. The new digs are nice. I no longer have to share a wall with my parents so all those late crazy nights of Psych marathons won't disturb the old folks. I am kind of sad that school is out. I miss the gang. On my last night with my roommate I reflected on the year with her. Our late night dance parties, how we put on random hats just because we could, how I constantly thought she would fall out of her bed, so many good memories. My friend Laura being the best valentine and getting me flirty sauce packets from Taco Bell. Yea, I know what you are thinking, she is super romantic! Getting to know the newbies; Emmy rubbing her nose into my shoulder like a dog begging to get pet, Matt P. making fart noises with his arm, Burger doing his Kermit impression about how much he loved Miss Piggy, Kayley and I not being able to function on little hours of sleep and creating our own language, Julia claiming to be a stripper with her bum knee. Shall I continue...I think I should. Matt declaring that I was going to marry Micah. Side note; I don't actually think Micah knows my name cause he always only calls me Ey Girl. Okay...back on track. Jeremy doing his weird whistle to say CPO on the way to get mail, Casey licking my face, Morgan and I talking about boys, Lisa discovering book carving with her knife, Scott drawing memes on caf napkins, Josh and his leaking eye, Tyler being...well, Tyler. That brings me to Jameson. James and I had creepy telepathy all year. We also saw ambulances every single time we were together. It never failed. This is probably some sign from God telling us we shouldn't be around each other ever, but oh well. This year was a blast! I am glad to be home, helping mother with all her technical issues and fixing the television when it gets on any other channel but 3. I start my job in 3 weeks with a bunch of small children. Wish them luck!

Failure is not an option...

8am finals should be illegal. I should not be up this early. So funny story, I fell down the stairs yesterday. It's okay to laugh cause I did. I learned I have a really funny laugh when people do impressions from The Amanda Show. The one from the 90's...it was a classic. Anywho, so I had my first and last 8am final today. Research and Methods for Social Work. Here is my thinking process...8am final, 10:30 final, I'm just gonna go to the gym after that, why not wear sweat pants, right? So here I am takin a long bumpy ride on the hot mess express in my sweats, pony tail, and Marines sweat shirt. I don't really care. I don't plan on seeing Ryan Gosling anytime soon so I might as well just rock the "I just rolled out of bed" look. Here is my other though...it is 8am, nobody is going to look that great so just in case I do run into the love of my life today, I won't have any competition. Boy was I wrong five ways to Sunday. I look to my left; girls in dresses. I look to my right; girls who woke up early enough to straighten their hair. While I sit here lookin like a classy hobo. If you dressed up for an early exam I give you props, but let's get serious. It is the last week of school. You have either already got a boyfriend or your friends already know you well enough to still love you if you look like a traveling circus. No need for make up and pumps. To all my friends who probably dressed up for their finals today...I apologize and I know you won't judge me for lookin like the extra special friend in the group. I shall sport my sweatpants with pride ladies and gentleman. They have never done me any wrong. They give support and comfort at the same time. Who wants to be worrying about if a hair is out of place when they are taking a physics exam or explaining variability and consistency among descriptive statistics?!? No one! Well, at least not me. And no offense, but if you are dressing up to impress a special someone, it is the last week of school. If you think they are going to ask you out in the next few days then I hope you are okay working a long distance relationship. Okay, so that last one was a little harsh. I'm sorry, I hope he asks you out and I hope the two of you live happily ever after with your two kids in a ranch setting somewhere in Connecticut. As for me, I will be letting my freak flag fly in the form of glasses and sweatpants.

Love Letters

Well this should be interesting. I didn't have a whole lot happen to me today so I was given this idea from a friend. No judgements needed. So here's the situation, I have been friends with Micah since first semester of my freshmen year. He was in my orientation group. He was trying to be the next John Mayer. First off...the dude is a ginger. So far we are off to the wrong start. He could sing and play the guitar. That was a plus. Anywho, I had a class with him on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9:25-10:40. In one of our classes we got picked for a skit about relationships. In the skit we were dating and he was ready to "take things to the next level" and I was not having it. I can't remember much, but I do remember that he told me I had a nice flowing mane. He was talking about my hair. Did the boy think I was a lion, or maybe a horse?!?! I might be a fierce lioness, but I am no horse. My hair is fantastic, but I am not Nala from the Lion King. From then on he called me his girlfriend just for that class. Other wise, we weren't exactly the best of friends outside of class. Well this year things changed. He is a good guy. He changed and matured a lot. He no longer calls my hair a mane. Seriously... I will never let him live that down. Back to the point, my friends are now into the new game of teasing me about him. They say we are meant to be. Well... I have some bad news for them. He is a great guy, but his woman is probably some girl with a lion's mane. My post today is a shout out to Micah because I love the kid to death. He gets on my nerves a lot like all the other guys in my life, but he is a big part of my life. I wrote him a letter today telling him how God has really blessed him and I got a letter back. It was much appreciated. Moral of this story...to all my guy friends. Most of you get on my nerves a lot, but I have to give you so much credit for dealing with my bipolar craziness for this long. I love you all so much and you mean more to me than you know. So ladies, if you have some serious guy friends show them some love! Make them some cupcakes or something. Gents, if you have your close lady friends then don't be afraid to let them know how much they mean to you!

The Not So Adams Family

Time to Meet the Family

 

So coming to a school with a swim team was one of requirements. I have been managing swim teams for 10 years now. If you are wondering what that is exactly; just picture mothering a group of really muscular teenagers. I love my job though. Anywho, last year my friend created "the family." There were grandparents and it worked its way down. The main group was a set of quadruplets. They had a babysitter who was the manager before me. I was her little sister. Therefore, I took over as babysitter when she left. I was also put in charge of the family when my friend left. Because we don't have sororities or fraternity's to have big sisters/brothers to welcome the newbies in we have the family to have the older kids bring up the next generation. Getting to my point. Because I was in charge of course I was going to give myself a family. I did not want to be the old spinster babysitter who puts her cats in charge. In my previous blog posts I have mentioned James, Kayley, and Jonathan. Jonathan is sitting next to me and fills the marvelous and honorable role of my husband. We have 4 children. Kayley, James, Matt, and Emily. They are quite the crew. The point to this story is that dude... I get the funniest looks when Emily runs up to me from across campus screaming MOOOOOM. Or when Matt proclaims in the cafeteria that he loves his momma. Kayley calls me momma jess on a daily basis. But nothing tops when Jonathan getting offended if I don't tell him something because, in his words, I am his wife and we are supposed to have no secrets from each other. Just picture if you will a petite teenage girl running up to another girl saying "hi mom, whatcha doin?" Do you know how many interesting looks we get? Yes people, I had kids at 6months of age. I am just that talented. Grant it, this is not normal behavior anyways, but cut us some slack. As for my real family, my dad had 3 daughters while my mom had a daughter and a son. They got divorced, came together, and had me! My sister is my hero. Except she does get offended if I don't know who played in what movie. She is sometimes a stalker. A movie stalker if you will and it is starting to rub off on me. Pray for me. My brother is the blackest white boy since Eminem. My dad is the hardest worker ever. And my mother. You guys seemed to really show the love for my post on my mother. More stories with her will be coming up. She is a crazy lady in the best way possible. My sister and I really love her "dance" moves. Well...now that you know all my personal background be sure to go steal my identity!

 

-j

Why you stop thinking?!?

I dedicate this writing this morning to all the college kids who are slowly dying inside from studying all night long with no coffee. You poor, poor soul. Know that I love you, no I don't have coffee, and no I do not understand math so please don't ask me for help.

     So this morning, I think I had my first out of body experience. I don't really remember much. I just know that I got to class and for some odd reason I am wearing a skirt. I am pretty positive my super girly alter ego, the one who gets really excited about small children being cute, took over my body when I woke up. My hair is straightened and I am color coordinated. I think she thought "hey, it's the last day of class, you're still single, let's look cute while all the other girls sport the 'last day of class' sweats." All I have to say is...why me?!?! The usual me would say "no, don't brush your hair. Just put the hat back on and let's get through today so we can take a nap later." Side note, I would like to declare that I am not bipolar. I do not have five different personalities. Back on track...like I said it is the last day of classes. My last day of classes as a sophomore. By next Wednesday I will be classified as a junior. HOLY FLAMINGO LEGS BATMAN. Sorry, minor panic attack. Anywho, all I wanna do in any of my classes is just run up and down the isles singing 'Do you hear the people sing?Singing the song of angry men? It is the music of the people, who will not be slaves again!' Les Mis reference people, get on it! Usually when I am given sugar, I get a little 'off the wall' if you will. I apologize to all my friends now. I have yet to be given sugar, but it is the last day of regular classes and I get to use my laptop in all of them today! Occasionally, when I look out the window, I see prospective students. BABY PROSPOS! I just want to run up to them, give them a hug, and say 'if you get accepted, you've survived the hunger games!' I remember being a prospective. I applied to eleven colleges. Who does that? Was I seriously thinking if I didn't get accepted 'well...tenth time is the charm.' Truth is, I only went through the full accepting process with four schools. I got accepted to all. Worst. Idea. Ever. Choosing colleges is like choosing a spouse. It sticks with you forever so you have to find the right one. Woah...that was a deep thought. Continue, now I am finishing up my second year with this school and I have two more to go. Let me just say...who knows what I'm gonna do with my life. 1. I apologize to my soul mate now. And may the odds be ever in your favor when it comes to spending the rest of your life with me. 2. My poor children. Warning to my future children; you will be thoroughly embarrassed from day one. 3. I plan to be a social worker so I wish the people, I have to help solve their life problems, good luck. Well my mind is going about eighty different directions right now so I should probably quit while I'm somewhat ahead. Have an adorkable day!
-j

 

My Favorite Kind of Date

I would like to start off today by giving a shout out to my camo hat. If it weren't for you, camo hat, people would have to actually see what my hair looks like when I don't have time to straighten it. Moving on...

So, I'm sure you saw the title and are thinking 'Oh, maybe I will get some fun date ideas.' Yea, it's not what you think. I have been single for 19 years and I have come to the realization that I am totally okay with that. I'm sure my Knight in Shining Armor is stuck in traffic somewhere. Here it is. My favorite kind of date is...*drum roll please*; a not so double date. I have two friends who are basically dating without the titles. (Shout out to Matt and Kayley). So, in the beginning my friend James and I were trying to get them used to dating without just throwing them together and shoving them off on their own. What did we do? We tagged along. James' relationship situation is uber complicated and my heart is sort of torn between a couple things so we aren't the ones who are dating; just to clarify. The catch is, we leave the date planning to the boys. We don't want any part of it. The first time, they took us mini golfing and to a nice dinner. The second time was late night dollar theater to see Wreck it Ralph. Great movie by the way! Our last date is coming up Saturday night and the boys are already planning. I'm not here to discuss my weekend plans though. Here at my school we have the ring by spring campaign. As young women of Christ we are expected to find a husband and start poppin out kids like yesterday. They encourage you to find your mate and start your new life with them. As a young freshmen I was emailed within the first month about pre-marital counseling. Yea, I was a little shocked. Times have changed. What is wrong with a single lady?!? Don't get me wrong, I cannot wait to meet the man that can handle all of this, but I am okay being single. Getting to go out and see a couple together being happy while I spend time with the greatest guy friend I have ever had in my life is the happiest time in my life. I couldn't ask for a better not so date. One of these days it will be real, but we are all having way to much fun for now. Here on campus it is impossible to be alone with someone of the opposite sex and not be defined as a couple. I recently went to a fancy event on campus where the guys wear suits and the girls wear gowns. I looked real good, I would just like to throw that in there. Anywho, I had a date. My good friend Jonathan. Ladies, he is available and super sweet. Back on track; we are good friends, but I have had several people ask me if we are dating. Uh, that's a negative ghost rider. I am constantly going somewhere with James alone. We are friends and like spending time together. We. Are. Not. A. Couple. Who made the rule that if you are alone with someone you are automatically dating? I wonder if that person has ever been alone with someone from the opposite sex. Moral of the story; ladies, it is okay to have just guy friends and a message to both sexes, don't feel pressured to get married any time soon if you don't feel like it. Make sure it is on God's time, not societies. Okay, that rant is over. Continue...

Couples are everywhere now a days. I walk into the lobby of my dorm and boom! every couch is packed with kissing faces and held hands. Walking around campus are lots of inseparable soul mates. Young minds are getting engaged left and right. Literally, a girl I was friends with first semester freshmen year is now planning her wedding as a sophomore. Everyone back home is planning their special day as well. My best friend back home probably won't be getting married too soon, but she does have a significant other. My two best friends here at school both have their own men. I am so happy for them, but let me tell ya, if third wheeling was a job I would be the CEO. To end my pointless paragraph this morning I would like to give a campus wide service announcement. If you are making out in front of the card door when I am trying to go back to my room, I will make it awkward for you. If you are laying on top of each other on the couches, I probably will judge you...no offense. And this whole Ring by Spring thing. Yo, college, let us live our lives as free as we want. If we don't leave here with a ring don't be offended. It is probably us and not you. Well, like every other relationship, let's be honest; it probably is you.

A Look Inside the Mind

So I feel the need to give you a warning that today's post is going to be all over the place. Nothing super exciting has happened to me today, but I have a lot running through my mind so...here comes the randomness.

          First off, a follow up of yesterday's post; my mother must have been reading because I woke up to an email today, sent to all of her children, a list of what she would like for Mother's Day if we were planning on getting her anything. And to correct my statement of her tearing down a wall...she is fixing tables. My point of her always having some sort of project is still proven, but not as exciting.

          Second of all, her Facebook status was about Duck Dynasty and while she was messaging me she said, and I kid you not, "well, just state the facts, Jack." Let's take a moment here to analyze the situation. My mother is necessarily not old, but she is on the wiser side. She is not from the south. We live in Indiana. She is also a woman. Yet this woman is quoting an old redneck duck man. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Duck Dynasty, but when my mother, the woman I look to for some of my next moves, is quoting Si Robertson I can't help but laugh. My favorite line from the show is "what could you be doin where you can't wait 10 minutes for a hot donut?" That quote is from Jase and that is how I justify ordering a half dozen hot donuts at Krispy Kreme. I'm just wondering how this came about though. I look around and see camo, Dynasty shirts, beards, and hipsters saying 'jack'. Who exactly came up with this stuff? What cameraman drove down to the south and decided to pick out the most insane family. I'm thinking some director got lost on his way to his beach house in Florida, stumbled upon those good ole country boys and decided to make some money. And that's a fact, Jack.

          I love giving advice, and I love answering questions. Sometimes I run out of things to say or write about and so I am looking to my audience for help. What do you want to read? What do you want to know? Why does candy corn even exist? Sorry, that was just a side thought. Anywho, let me know what I can do for you or what you want to hear me say. Have a happy, happy, happy day!

-j

Mortifying Mothers

Good morning my beautiful little butterflies. Not really...I'm tired. I hope it is a lovely day for you though. It's sunny outside which brings out all the hipsters with their instagram accounts so it should be an interesting day. So today I would like to discuss the topic of mothers. Mine has officially lost it. Despite the fact that every time I call her she is tearing down some other wall in our house, she sends some interesting thoughts in the mail. I would like to start with the fact that I only have a week and a half left of school. I was home a few weeks ago and left some articles of clothing there. Not a huge deal. Anywho, so I got this card in the mail from my mom yesterday. In the middle of the college post office, open it up, and what do ya know. My unders fell out. I was mortified. Of course I quickly picked them up, and I don't think anyone saw, but still it is the thought that counts. Another fun fact, they were hot pink. You're welcome. I love my mother don't get me wrong, but sending one pair of lady garments through the mail with a week left of school, does she really think I'm going to run out before my time here is up? Glory goodness.

With Madre's Day quickly approaching I'm wondering what to get the woman who brought me into this world, but never wants for anything. I love that crazy lady and I hope she is reading this. She is something special that's for sure. So fellow dorks, I am asking, what are you getting your mother/what should I get get my mother for this very special day?

-j

Good Morning San Diego

Okay, so not San Diego, but hey world. I used to blog about some pretty random stuff when I was younger, but they were the pretty typical young teenage issues. Girl likes boy, boy doesn't like girl drama. Cat fights. Big guy stole my lunch money. Stuff such as that. Well now that I am a big girl and I can pick out my own clothes I figured I would start things up again. Don't expect expert advice or DIY tips. This is just a site for my random thoughts. Not to brag, but I'm told I am pretty nifty so here goes nothing.

So a friend and I were discussing the song Call Me Maybe. I hate that song with a passion. Surprisingly, not because it is so flishin repetitive, but because it gives me odd thoughts. First off, I have two grown men singing it to me at the top of their lungs every time it comes on. They are good singers, but ohhhh when that song comes on they sounds like cheerleaders. Also, so many people have put in their own words. The one that sticks with me was when the bath salts incident went down. Therefore, this song leads my mind to zombies. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy. I ate some bath salts, your face looks tasty." I'm sorry, but that just ruined things for me. Side note, who eats bath salts, honestly?!?! Is that like a pregnant woman craving? Who sits on a couch and thinks 'hmm, ya know what I want right now? I could really use some bath salts. Preferably lavender flavored.' No! Nobody does that! I'm gonna go home today, be sitting on my bed and think 'I would kill for some foot scrub right now. That sounds super tasty.' Can you put that on normal food? Marinade your chicken in dragon lilly shampoo and bake at 375? Anywho, something to think about. Have a blessed day!

-J